How to Stop Your Divorce

Tip! It will allow you to love life again, to see the beauty in every experience, to be non-judgmental and open to new relationships.

You have invested a lot of time and energy in your marriage. For some reason, you just can't seem to make things work. You and your mate aren't talking to each other like you used to; you have started to sleep separately; or perhaps you or your mate have been unfaithful. There are a million reasons why a married couple might consider divorce, and sometimes it just doesn't feel like the right thing to do. Sometimes, one or both spouses still have enough feelings for the other to want to prevent a divorce.

There is a reason why judges insist that both people be in agreement on a divorce before they will actually grant one. The process is a very simple one; in that if one spouse doesn't agree to the divorce, there is always a chance that the marriage could be saved. If you are in a situation where you want to stop your divorce, there are many avenues that you can take that just might help you to save your marriage.

For starters, you can give marital counseling a try. This is not to say that it will definitely work for you and your spouse; however, it may just be the best route for you. When you go to marital counseling you are given the opportunity to voice your grievances about your spouse with an impartial party. Marriage counseling has helped millions of couples to find the reason they married in the first place. It helps many couples to reconnect. It is also a great way to get the tools that you will need in order to maintain that connection throughout your marriage. Of course, this method works best when both spouses are willing to participate fully.

You can also try to save your marriage by taking part in a marital retreat. Many churches and local clubs offer retreats for married to couples who are having problems. These retreats are geared toward helping those couples who are interested in taking part with other couples in group therapy sessions. This is also a great way for the couple to get away from all of the hassles of their daily home life while working on their marriage. When you don't have pressures like children and work to interrupt you, it makes it much easier for couples to focus on what's really important.

Tip! When we show the one we desire most that they are special to us, we are being romantic. We can do this in so many different and unique ways.

You should never wait until your marriage is in a shambles before you finally take notice as to how important it is to you. When you do that all you are guaranteed is that you will eventually be faced with this problem. You have to be willing to talk and listen in a marriage. You also have to be willing to let some things slide every now and then. In the end, the only thing that can really keep a marriage together is if both people want it that way. Sometimes, it is just better to cut your losses and move on.

Listening Skills In Relationships

Tip! Success demands building relationships that are strong, vibrant, healthy, and fulfilling with others.

Recently, when out to dinner with another couple, my husband is surprised at what
someone says about one of our neighbors. He even comments this to the person
about his amazement. Less than one week later, my husband comments to me he
wonders about this very situation. After asking him, "Well don't you remember Sean
told you that?" "No. I must have been in a conversation with someone else then." I
just torque my jaws and change the subject because I just don't want to have this
conversation about listening again.

Whether it's with you or friends, it's annoying and rude when your husband
communicates he's not listening. "I don't really care," is the message. Listening is
different as hearing. We're born with the ears to hear. But listening takes energy,
time and practice. There are actions to demonstrate your ability to listen, show you
care and reduce stress in the process.

Tip! What's required here is direct, personal, continuous contact with your personal relationships. Letters are fine.

First, give your full attention to your spouse. When my husband was speaking with
Sean, he was also carrying on a conversation with someone else. There humanly is
no way that you can give your full attention when you are dividing it between two
people!

Ask clarifying questions before you do your talking. If you want to understand your
wife's concerns, respond to a problem or add to the conversation, ask a question
('So what you are saying is ... .') Then keep quiet while you listen to their reply. Then
you are sure to be on track. Listen first to understand, then to respond.

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And anticipate keywords. With experience you learn how some comments are
familiar. How you have discussed this previously? When you hear keywords about
these everyday situations or previous discussions, use them to help you add to the
conversation when the time comes. This is sometimes called leveraging your
knowledge.

Listen for feelings first and specifics second. Check your understanding of your
wife's emotions from her point of view ("It must be frustrating to not get what you
think you were getting.") If that perception check is correct ("Yes I am just fit to be
tied,") continue with specific facts of the conversation. This type of verbal feedback,
particularly on the telephone, can clarify a concern without you saying something
there is no need to say.

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Identify what bad listening habits you have and begin to minimize and improve
them. The top five worst listening habits most of us have are: reacting emotionally,
listening only for the facts, getting distracted, faking attention and being critical of
the speaker's delivery. Found yours? Know it and do something to improve it. Let's
say you find yourself getting distracted by listening in a second conversation when
you are out with your wife and a group of friends. You can wear a rubber band
around your wrist for 30 days. And every time that undesirable habit pops into your
conversation with you wife, or anyone for that matter, snap that rubber band back.
Day after day you'll be snapping less because you will be replacing your bad habit
with something that is effective.

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A famous philosopher once said, "We only hear half of what is said to us,
understand only half of that, and remember only half of that." You can reduce
misunderstandings and show your spouse you do care when you move beyond
hearing to listening.

Copyright© Patricia Weber, http://www.prostrategies.com.

Pat Weber is a coach, certified telelcass leader, and corporate trainer. With her incisive, effective communication skills, her services can help you to accelerate professional and personal results you want, by helping you increase your choices and build your self-confidence. With personal coaching, a teleclass, an online email course or on-site workshop, get what you want, more easily and more often. Visit her website at http://www.prostrategies.com.

She Walks in Beauty

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft. so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent.

Meet Singles With These Great Singles Dating Ideas For Friendship, Romance Or Relationships

Tip! 'My partner brings out the best in me,' is the way most people define the partner that they love. Relationships are built on encouragement, so always try to make your partner feel good, even if you're urging them beyond their comfort zone to a new level of intimacy.

The main idea of a dating is to have a great time. So - are your dates starting to feels like an old hat? Then you definitely need some great singles dating ideas!

If that old routine of dinner & movie dates starting to be an obligation instead of fun then you need to do something different. The best part is that being different doesn't correlate to being expensive.

So here are some great dating ideas:

Go bowling, roller blading, miniature golf, amusement parks, or free music concerts.

Go hiking at the local parks, ride your bikes, snow skiing trip, water skiing, or jogging together.

Go to museums, see the animals at the zoo, take the candy factory tour, or take a walk around the public gardens when the flowers and trees are blooming.

Have a small party at your place and invite your close friends.

Can plan on short day trips in nearby cities, shopping together at the mall, picnic at a nice clean park, go to a sporting event (doesn't have to be major league sports. The best games I have been to are the minor league games.)

One great singles dating idea is to seek the highest point in your city, go up the elevator and gaze at the city. (Great tip guys, if you want to make her laugh, tell her "One day, this will all be yours").

How about learning how to give a great massage and surprise your date? Learn how to make a good dinner (but first make sure you know what kinds of food the other person doesn't like, like-duh!).

To tell you the truth, being creative and not spending a lot of money does several things. It makes the whole dating game fun and more specifically, makes you more fun to be with. It takes money out of the equation. It no longer becomes an obligation to the woman that she has to put out because you spent all this money. Or it intrigues the man and he will wonder what else do you have up your sleeves?

Tip! In good relationships there is energy -- your energy and your partners. This energy pushes each of you to strive to make the relationship work as individuals, and it also drives you to a shared excellence.

One of the cheapest and most fun dates I have ever had was when I had to wash my comforter at a laundry mat. The girl I was with accused me of being a 'cheap date.' We were just cracking up and laughing the whole time. We got a frosty cone from next door and watched the comforter go round and round in the dryer. Best date I ever had for less than ten dollars!

I am sure you can come up with something but the real deal is that the date must be interesting and different.

Tip! Getting the most for your money and time will include providing an environment for everyone to learn relationships skills. Relationship skills just happens to be a life skill that you take every where you go, whether it be at the office or home.

The last great singles dating idea is listening really listening. I am being absolutely serious here. When you realize that most people want what they get the least of. And what most people want is appreciation. When you are an extraordinarily good listener to someone craving for recognition, the world becomes your oyster. The other person will be so captivated by your nonverbal flattery.

Don't believe me? Next time, try focusing on just listening what your date is talking about. Ask questions to expand what he/she is talking about. Make eye contact. Nod. Don't cross your arms, use an open posture. It says to the other person, "Tell me more!"

You will be surprised!

Have some fun.

John Garret believes that a successful man or woman gets validation from his/her life, not from relationships with other singles. And you should seek confidant people that are not needy.

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Sustaining Romance After Becoming Parents

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A major challenge for parents, especially new parents, is finding the
time to be together in ways that foster romance in their relationship. A
question that a reader recently asked me is: "Is it the quality of time
versus the quantity of time that is significant in 'we-time'? If yes, how?"

Romance is determined far more by the quality of the energy between
two people than by the amount of time they spend together. If two
people spend all day together, but they are not open to each other
regarding the sharing of learning, laughter, play and creativity, they will
not feel romantic and intimate. They will feel far more romantic if they
spend a few minutes together and that few minutes is filled with the
intimacy that comes from being open hearted and emotionally
connected with each other. If two people hug goodbye in the morning
and the hug is perfunctory with their minds already elsewhere, that hug
will do nothing to foster romance later that evening. But if the hug is filled
with love, warmth, tenderness and caring, that hug can do much to
sustain the romance through the day to be further expressed in the
evening.

The question is, what determines the quality of energy between two
people? What makes one hug filled with romantic potential and another
hug empty and meaningless?

The quality of the energy between two people is determined by their
intent:

* If your intent is to have control over getting love or avoiding pain, the
hug will be empty and depleting, regardless of your partner's intent.

* If your intent and your partner's intent is to give love and share love,
the hug will be fulfilling and energizing.

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There is a vast difference between the intention to get love and avoid
pain, and the intention to give and share love.

When your intention is to get love, you are coming from an empty place
within and wanting your partner to fill that place for you. You will be
giving the hug in order to get filled - giving to get. Your touch will
energetically be a pull on your partner's energy to fill you up and make
you feel lovable and worthy. Since it doesn't feel good to be pulled on
energetically, your partner may hug you from a withdrawn state, with the
intention to avoid the pain of being pulled on. If one of you hugs with the
intent to get love, and the other hugs with the intent to avoid pain, the
hug will not feel good.

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If both of you are coming from an empty place within and both of you are
hugging with the intention to get love, there will be no love to share and
the hug will not feel good.

If one of you hugs with the intention to give and share love and the other
hugs with the intent to get love, the giver will end up feeling unfilled. He
or she may enjoy giving love, but there will be no sharing of love, and it
is the share of love that is truly the highest experience in life.

If both of you are already filled with love within due to taking personal
responsibility for your own feelings and wellbeing, and to being
spiritually connected to the Source of love, then your intent is likely to be
to give and share love. When you both have the intent to give and share
love, the hug will be a wonderful expression of your love and will be
very fulfilling. Starting your day with a few minutes of sharing love sets
the stage for sharing love at other times. Even if your time together is
very limited, romance can be sustained when two people have the intent
to give and share love.

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Moving out of the intent to get love and avoid pain and into the intent to
give and share love is a personal process of inner growth. It takes both
people desiring to learn how to fill themselves with love so that they
have love to share to create and sustain a fulfilling romantic relationship.

As parents with limited time to spend with each other, doing this inner
work is essential for the relationship with thrive.

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Marriage Communication: How to Add More Life and Love to Your Relationship

Tip! A step that can help you regain the spark in your love life is something I call Soul Gazing. It's a simple technique of gazing into your partner's eyes.

Do you know how many couples use belittling and name-calling in their marriage. This style of communication causes deep wounds and erode the foundation of a relationship. Read on to discover how to use the power of positive words to release life into your relationship and strengthen its foundation.

Positive words have power to release life and love into your marriage and strengthen the foundation. Affirmation is one way to use positive words in your relationship

Jack and Donna's Story

Jack and Donna were consumed with each other's character faults. When they came to counseling, they could only see the negative traits because of the pain and anger.

In order to head off a divorce, I explained the power of affirmation. Initially, they were not able to find any positive traits about each other. With a lot of prompting, Donna was able to come up with the fact that Jack was a good provider. Jack said that Donna liked children.

These things were pretty basic. However, it was a start. With time, they were able to think of more positive character qualities and it became easier. This had a ripple effect in their marriage. They began to look for positives instead of negatives.

Tip! As soon as you arrive home for the day seek out your partner and offer a big, loving kiss. Tell your partner how much you love him or her and ask about their day.

Teaching an old dog new tricks

In another situation, I was explaining to a couple the importance of speaking positive words to each other. The man told me, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." I responded that, "I did not realize that I was talking to an old dog."

I also explained how the benefits of affirmation included more peace at home, a happier wife, and a better love life. A few months later the old dog had learned new tricks. Their marriage had improved and both of them were happier with the relationship.

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for more tips and tools for strengthening your marriage. You can also visit
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Find the Love of your Life with Online Dating

Tip! Romance in a relationship is the chord that makes the heart beat strongest. Without it, love can weaken and even disappear.

Online dating is becoming increasingly popular these days. This is mainly attributed to the unlimited applications and features provided by the online dating services to their registered users. You can have so much fun being a member of an online dating site that you would not want to go anywhere else to find the love of your life.

Once you find a striking dating site, you have to make a profile of your own for others to view and respond to. Most people like to try out services that are currently free to see if they can make an impression there. Some of the sites also allow you to enter as a guest and browse through thousands of profiles to see how people have expressed their needs and desires.

You will be able to contact many people who you like and then wait for a response. If they like you too, they will tell you exactly what their choices are. They might be looking for a committed relationship, casual relationship, just friendship, or a short-term love affair. Think about your priorities and see if any of these choices suits you.

There is 100% success rate of getting an ideal partner on these online dating sites. So many people have found their ideal partners online. They have their stories to share with other people. You can go to the blogging section of any dating site and see how people have made their way to a successful love life. You might as well want to set up a blog of your own. This is a very popular way of attracting others and getting feedback on your online profile.

Many people have albums full of their best pictures. You can search for the love of your life by entering some information in the search field of a site, e.g. your country, your sexual preference, and the age range. There would be hundreds of matches meeting your criteria. You can then select a few among them by looking at their pictures, profile information or their interests and hobbies and write them an email, send them an instant message or simply leave a comment on their profile and see if they like it.

Online dating sites also allow you to chat with online members and share your views with them. The best thing about these sites is that either they are completely free or charge only a minimal fee of getting registered with them. But think about all the benefits of being a member! You will be automatically notified of different connections that match your profile information. So don't waste time and start searching for the love you have always wanted to have in your life!

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