Enhancing Your Love Life

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

How A Couple's Retreat Can Enhance Your Love Life


Tip! Couples that are in love, and I mean actually still in love after years of being together, feel younger. Ageing seems to be slowed down by a loving situation.

Everyone needs to get away from time to time and that includes married couples. The boss, the kids, the bills, and the stresses of everyday life can become overwhelming to just about any couple. In today's modern world, we become ill, moody, and it is easy for us forget what life and marriage is all about. It is during these times that we need to consider marriage retreats so that we can put things into proper perspective and to put our marriage back on the right track. In such a relaxing atmosphere, it would be hard not to connect with our spouses.




There's just something about being in a peaceful paradise that helps you slow down and begin to feel your spouses all over again. The concept of what a couples retreat is, is different for everyone. Some people will go so that they regain the romance in a relationship. Some couples just need to be alone. Some couples need to see different and unique things and places just to be able to add some passion to their lives.

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Couples need to let their retreats begin by renting a cottage on the beach where you can be all by yourself. There's no one there that you will need to please but yourself and your spouse. There are no expectations of how you should dress, act, behave, or speak. It's just you and nature on your couples retreats. The sun will warm your body, and the people will warm your soul.

How can this not be a great way to regenerate your mind body and spirit as a couple?

When you go on a couples retreat, you will not only get to spend some quality time with your partner, you will also be able to take part in group and private counseling sessions as well. You will be able to work on your marriage's love life while in a peaceful atmosphere that offers you none of the pressures that can make this sort of connection impossible at home. The unbiased therapy that the couple can receive will help the couple to hash out some of their problems.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

How to Stop Your Divorce

Tip! It will allow you to love life again, to see the beauty in every experience, to be non-judgmental and open to new relationships.

You have invested a lot of time and energy in your marriage. For some reason, you just can't seem to make things work. You and your mate aren't talking to each other like you used to; you have started to sleep separately; or perhaps you or your mate have been unfaithful. There are a million reasons why a married couple might consider divorce, and sometimes it just doesn't feel like the right thing to do. Sometimes, one or both spouses still have enough feelings for the other to want to prevent a divorce.

There is a reason why judges insist that both people be in agreement on a divorce before they will actually grant one. The process is a very simple one; in that if one spouse doesn't agree to the divorce, there is always a chance that the marriage could be saved. If you are in a situation where you want to stop your divorce, there are many avenues that you can take that just might help you to save your marriage.




For starters, you can give marital counseling a try. This is not to say that it will definitely work for you and your spouse; however, it may just be the best route for you. When you go to marital counseling you are given the opportunity to voice your grievances about your spouse with an impartial party. Marriage counseling has helped millions of couples to find the reason they married in the first place. It helps many couples to reconnect. It is also a great way to get the tools that you will need in order to maintain that connection throughout your marriage. Of course, this method works best when both spouses are willing to participate fully.

Tip! Role playing is a great way for you to be able to make your love life a great deal better. It is also a good way to explore fantasies.

You can also try to save your marriage by taking part in a marital retreat. Many churches and local clubs offer retreats for married to couples who are having problems. These retreats are geared toward helping those couples who are interested in taking part with other couples in group therapy sessions. This is also a great way for the couple to get away from all of the hassles of their daily home life while working on their marriage. When you don't have pressures like children and work to interrupt you, it makes it much easier for couples to focus on what's really important.

You should never wait until your marriage is in a shambles before you finally take notice as to how important it is to you. When you do that all you are guaranteed is that you will eventually be faced with this problem. You have to be willing to talk and listen in a marriage. You also have to be willing to let some things slide every now and then. In the end, the only thing that can really keep a marriage together is if both people want it that way. Sometimes, it is just better to cut your losses and move on.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Marriage Communication: How to Add More Life and Love to Your Relationship


Tip! Leave a note professing your love for your partner to find during the day. Put the note where it will be found, easily.

Do you know how many couples use belittling and name-calling in their marriage. This style of communication causes deep wounds and erode the foundation of a relationship. Read on to discover how to use the power of positive words to release life into your relationship and strengthen its foundation.

Positive words have power to release life and love into your marriage and strengthen the foundation. Affirmation is one way to use positive words in your relationship

Jack and Donna's Story

Jack and Donna were consumed with each other's character faults. When they came to counseling, they could only see the negative traits because of the pain and anger.

In order to head off a divorce, I explained the power of affirmation. Initially, they were not able to find any positive traits about each other. With a lot of prompting, Donna was able to come up with the fact that Jack was a good provider. Jack said that Donna liked children.




Tip! When your partner arrives home for the day, take their hand and pull them towards you aggressively. Offer a huge hug, kiss and say, "I missed you today!”
These things were pretty basic. However, it was a start. With time, they were able to think of more positive character qualities and it became easier. This had a ripple effect in their marriage. They began to look for positives instead of negatives.

Teaching an old dog new tricks

In another situation, I was explaining to a couple the importance of speaking positive words to each other. The man told me, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." I responded that, "I did not realize that I was talking to an old dog."

I also explained how the benefits of affirmation included more peace at home, a happier wife, and a better love life. A few months later the old dog had learned new tricks. Their marriage had improved and both of them were happier with the relationship.

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Monday, February 25, 2008

"Is Love, then, so Simple"

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IS love, then, so simple my dear?
The opening of a door,
And seeing all things clear?
I did not know before.

I had thought it unrest and desire
Soaring only to fall,
Annihilation and fire:
It is not so at all.

I feel no desperate will,
But I think I understand
Many things, as I sit quite still,
With Eternity in my hand.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Write A Love Letter



We feel good when we make the people we love feel happy. The person you love, who loves you in return, wants to know what he or she does that makes you happy and wants you to describe those things in your own words.

Steps


  1. Think of a time when you felt particularly moved by seeing your loved one. Recall the emotional and physical feelings you experienced in that moment.
  2. Write a description of that moment including details about your feelings at the time, starting with a phrase such as, "I remember when…"
  3. Recall two or three other experiences when you were moved by your loved one's words or actions. Add recollections of these experiences to your letter in the same way you wrote about the first one.


Tips


  • Describe your experiences using your own words, without forcing yourself to be fancy.
  • Exclude clichés from your letter.
  • Exclude rhyming poetry
  • Write two or three drafts until the letter sounds pleasing.
  • Write your own, original words, not something you've read or heard. The most important thing of all.
  • If you do quote something make sure to give credit for it.
  • Read it out loud! Just because it makes sense on paper doesn't mean it will make sense when spoken.
  • Try to Learn Calligraphy. If you think that's hard, it's not. Go to an art supply store, and get a pen, a fine nib, a thicker nib if you like, and a bottle of ink, then go slow and carefully when you write. This not only lets you think more about what you say, it also looks far more impressive.
  • Do not use a sentence like "you are hot" or "I like you a lot" or something like that, it might make them a little uneasy.
  • Do not explicitly refer to parts of the anatomy. This could be a turn-off. Don't use flippant language either. (Example: badunkadunks.)
  • Cheesy can be okay, but be sure not to overdue it. Make it sweet, heartfelt, and true.
  • Don't lie to impress. Example: Don't say "I love the way you flip your hair" to impress her/him, when thats not true. Honesty is the best policy.


Warnings


  • Be prepared to receive a hug and a kiss after your loved one reads your letter.
  • But hey, face it, not everyone is in to you. Don't write a love letter unless you're sure the guy/girl is into you. Writing something as heartfelt as a love letter may be too much for some people. Be prepared for a letdown, but don't absolutely expect it.
  • Keep it simple, but hearfelt.
  • Don't focus on yourself. This can be a major turnoff.


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Monday, February 18, 2008

Are You the New person, drawn toward Me?

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ARE you the new person drawn toward me?
To begin with, take warning—I am surely far different from what you suppose;
Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal?
Do you think it so easy to have me become your lover?
Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloy’d satisfaction? 5
Do you think I am trusty and faithful?
Do you see no further than this façade—this smooth and tolerant manner of me?
Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man?
Have you no thought, O dreamer, that it may be all maya, illusion?

Sunday, February 17, 2008

How to Find out What Love Really Is


One day I was talking to my friend and they asked me what is love ,and I thought about it and I had no clue what it meant till I found this article . It may help you if your wondering. What does love really mean?

Steps


  1. This is how many people approach a relationship. Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation (based on physical and emotional attraction) that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it.

  2. The key word is passivity. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love." (That was back in 1956 -- chances are he'd be even more pessimistic today.)

  3. Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness.

  4. The word "goodness" may surprise you. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. ("I'm captivated by your values!" he told her passionately. "And I've never met a man with such morals!" she cooed.) But in her study of real-life successful marriages ("The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts"), Judith Wallerstein reports that "the value these couples placed on the partner's moral qualities was an unexpected finding."

  5. To the Jewish mind, it isn't unexpected at all. What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others. God created us to see ourselves as good (hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings). So, too, we seek goodness in others. Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love.


1. LOVE IS A CHOICE

  1. If love comes from appreciating goodness, it needn't just happen -- you can make it happen. Love is active. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). If you can do this easily, you'll love easily.

  2. I was once at an intimate concert in which the performer, a deeply spiritual person, gazed warmly at his audience and said, "I want you to know, I love you all." I smiled tolerantly and thought, "Sure." Looking back, though, I realize my cynicism was misplaced. This man naturally saw the good in others, and our being there said enough about us that he could love us. Judaism actually idealizes this universal, unconditional love.

  3. Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. But seeing goodness is the beginning.

  4. Susan learned about this foundation of love after becoming engaged to David. When she called her parents to tell them the good news, they were elated. At the end of the conversation, her mother said, "Darling, I want you to know we love you, and we love David."

  5. Susan was a bit dubious. "Mom," she said hesitantly, "I really appreciate your feelings, but, in all honesty, how can you say you love someone you've never met?"

  6. By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone.

  7. "We're choosing to love him," her mother explained, "because love is a choice."

  8. There's no better wisdom Susan's mother could have imparted to her before marriage. By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone.


2.ACTIONS AFFECT FEELINGS

  1. Now that you're feeling so warmly toward the entire human race, how can you deepen your love for someone? The way God created us, actions affect our feelings most. For example, if you want to become more compassionate, thinking compassionate thoughts may be a start, but giving tzedaka (charity) will get you there. Likewise, the best way to feel loving is to be loving -- and that means giving.

  2. While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth (as Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler writes in his famous discourse on loving kindness) is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love.

  3. What is giving? When an enthusiastic handyman happily announces to his non- mechanically inclined wife, "Honey, wait till you see what I got you for your birthday -- a triple-decker toolbox!" that's not giving. Neither is a father's forcing violin lessons on his son because he himself always dreamed of being a virtuoso.

  4. True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements. The first is care, demonstrating active concern for the recipient's life and growth. The second is responsibility, responding to his or her expressed and unexpressed needs (particularly, in an adult relationship, emotional needs). The third is respect, "the ability to see a person as he [or she] is, to be aware of his [or her] unique individuality," and, consequently, wanting that person to "grow and unfold as he [or she] is." These three components all depend upon the fourth, knowledge. You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her.

    3.OPENING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

    1. The effect of genuine, other-oriented giving is profound. It allows you into another person's world and opens you up to perceiving his or her goodness. At the same time, it means investing part of yourself in the other, enabling you to love this person as you love yourself.


    Tips


    • go somewhere quiet where you have no distractions
    • take some time to really think about it
    • think before you do something you may regret later


    Warnings


    • dont follow what others think because it may be the wrong definition.
    • be patient: dont just chase after some one because the results may not be good
    • dont tell someone you love them if you dont mean it or you're not sure


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