Marriage Communication: How to Add More Life and Love to Your Relationship

Tip! Leave a note professing your love for your partner to find during the day. Put the note where it will be found, easily.

Do you know how many couples use belittling and name-calling in their marriage. This style of communication causes deep wounds and erode the foundation of a relationship. Read on to discover how to use the power of positive words to release life into your relationship and strengthen its foundation.

Positive words have power to release life and love into your marriage and strengthen the foundation. Affirmation is one way to use positive words in your relationship

Jack and Donna's Story

Jack and Donna were consumed with each other's character faults. When they came to counseling, they could only see the negative traits because of the pain and anger.

In order to head off a divorce, I explained the power of affirmation. Initially, they were not able to find any positive traits about each other. With a lot of prompting, Donna was able to come up with the fact that Jack was a good provider. Jack said that Donna liked children.

Tip! When your partner arrives home for the day, take their hand and pull them towards you aggressively. Offer a huge hug, kiss and say, "I missed you today!”

These things were pretty basic. However, it was a start. With time, they were able to think of more positive character qualities and it became easier. This had a ripple effect in their marriage. They began to look for positives instead of negatives.

Teaching an old dog new tricks

In another situation, I was explaining to a couple the importance of speaking positive words to each other. The man told me, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." I responded that, "I did not realize that I was talking to an old dog."

I also explained how the benefits of affirmation included more peace at home, a happier wife, and a better love life. A few months later the old dog had learned new tricks. Their marriage had improved and both of them were happier with the relationship.

Visit www.BuildingYourDreamMarriage.com for more tips and tools for strengthening your marriage. You can also visit www.BuildingYourDreamMarriage.com to subscribe to my free newsletter and listen to a free audio. You are also invited to find out more about our relationship building services from Jeff Barnet, MS LPC.

That spark that drew you too together can be reignited. I'll show you with more than 101 ways to find creative romance, make for great date nights, reevaluate your relationship on fresh ground, and much, much more.

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"Is Love, then, so Simple"

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IS love, then, so simple my dear?
The opening of a door,
And seeing all things clear?
I did not know before.

I had thought it unrest and desire
Soaring only to fall,
Annihilation and fire:
It is not so at all.

I feel no desperate will,
But I think I understand
Many things, as I sit quite still,
With Eternity in my hand.

Write A Love Letter

We feel good when we make the people we love feel happy. The person you love, who loves you in return, wants to know what he or she does that makes you happy and wants you to describe those things in your own words.

Steps

1. Think of a time when you felt particularly moved by seeing your loved one. Recall the emotional and physical feelings you experienced in that moment.
   
2. Write a description of that moment including details about your feelings at the time, starting with a phrase such as, "I remember when…"
   
3. Recall two or three other experiences when you were moved by your loved one's words or actions. Add recollections of these experiences to your letter in the same way you wrote about the first one.
   

Tips

• Describe your experiences using your own words, without forcing yourself to be fancy.
  
• Exclude clichés from your letter.
  
• Exclude rhyming poetry
  
• Write two or three drafts until the letter sounds pleasing.
  
• Write your own, original words, not something you've read or heard. The most important thing of all.
  
• If you do quote something make sure to give credit for it.
  
• Read it out loud! Just because it makes sense on paper doesn't mean it will make sense when spoken.
  
• Try to Learn Calligraphy. If you think that's hard, it's not. Go to an art supply store, and get a pen, a fine nib, a thicker nib if you like, and a bottle of ink, then go slow and carefully when you write. This not only lets you think more about what you say, it also looks far more impressive.
  
• Do not use a sentence like "you are hot" or "I like you a lot" or something like that, it might make them a little uneasy.
  
• Do not explicitly refer to parts of the anatomy. This could be a turn-off. Don't use flippant language either. (Example: badunkadunks.)
  
• Cheesy can be okay, but be sure not to overdue it. Make it sweet, heartfelt, and true.
  
• Don't lie to impress. Example: Don't say "I love the way you flip your hair" to impress her/him, when thats not true. Honesty is the best policy.
  

Warnings

• Be prepared to receive a hug and a kiss after your loved one reads your letter.
  
• But hey, face it, not everyone is in to you. Don't write a love letter unless you're sure the guy/girl is into you. Writing something as heartfelt as a love letter may be too much for some people. Be prepared for a letdown, but don't absolutely expect it.
  
• Keep it simple, but hearfelt.
  
• Don't focus on yourself. This can be a major turnoff.
  

Related

• How to Write a Love Letter or Love Poem
  
• How to Write a Letter
  

Are You the New person, drawn toward Me?

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ARE you the new person drawn toward me?
To begin with, take warning—I am surely far different from what you suppose;
Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal?
Do you think it so easy to have me become your lover?
Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloy’d satisfaction? 5
Do you think I am trusty and faithful?
Do you see no further than this façade—this smooth and tolerant manner of me?
Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man?
Have you no thought, O dreamer, that it may be all maya, illusion?

How to Find out What Love Really Is

One day I was talking to my friend and they asked me what is love ,and I thought about it and I had no clue what it meant till I found this article . It may help you if your wondering. What does love really mean?

Steps

1. This is how many people approach a relationship. Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation (based on physical and emotional attraction) that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it.
   
   
2. The key word is passivity. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love." (That was back in 1956 -- chances are he'd be even more pessimistic today.)
   
   
3. Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness.
   
   
4. The word "goodness" may surprise you. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. ("I'm captivated by your values!" he told her passionately. "And I've never met a man with such morals!" she cooed.) But in her study of real-life successful marriages ("The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts"), Judith Wallerstein reports that "the value these couples placed on the partner's moral qualities was an unexpected finding."
   
   
5. To the Jewish mind, it isn't unexpected at all. What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others. God created us to see ourselves as good (hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings). So, too, we seek goodness in others. Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love.

1. LOVE IS A CHOICE

1. If love comes from appreciating goodness, it needn't just happen -- you can make it happen. Love is active. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). If you can do this easily, you'll love easily.
   
   
2. I was once at an intimate concert in which the performer, a deeply spiritual person, gazed warmly at his audience and said, "I want you to know, I love you all." I smiled tolerantly and thought, "Sure." Looking back, though, I realize my cynicism was misplaced. This man naturally saw the good in others, and our being there said enough about us that he could love us. Judaism actually idealizes this universal, unconditional love.
   
   
3. Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. But seeing goodness is the beginning.
   
   
4. Susan learned about this foundation of love after becoming engaged to David. When she called her parents to tell them the good news, they were elated. At the end of the conversation, her mother said, "Darling, I want you to know we love you, and we love David."
   
   
5. Susan was a bit dubious. "Mom," she said hesitantly, "I really appreciate your feelings, but, in all honesty, how can you say you love someone you've never met?"
   
   
6. By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone.
   
   
7. "We're choosing to love him," her mother explained, "because love is a choice."
   
   
8. There's no better wisdom Susan's mother could have imparted to her before marriage. By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone.

2.ACTIONS AFFECT FEELINGS

1. Now that you're feeling so warmly toward the entire human race, how can you deepen your love for someone? The way God created us, actions affect our feelings most. For example, if you want to become more compassionate, thinking compassionate thoughts may be a start, but giving tzedaka (charity) will get you there. Likewise, the best way to feel loving is to be loving -- and that means giving.
   
   
2. While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth (as Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler writes in his famous discourse on loving kindness) is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love.
   
   
3. What is giving? When an enthusiastic handyman happily announces to his non- mechanically inclined wife, "Honey, wait till you see what I got you for your birthday -- a triple-decker toolbox!" that's not giving. Neither is a father's forcing violin lessons on his son because he himself always dreamed of being a virtuoso.
   
   
4. True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements. The first is care, demonstrating active concern for the recipient's life and growth. The second is responsibility, responding to his or her expressed and unexpressed needs (particularly, in an adult relationship, emotional needs). The third is respect, "the ability to see a person as he [or she] is, to be aware of his [or her] unique individuality," and, consequently, wanting that person to "grow and unfold as he [or she] is." These three components all depend upon the fourth, knowledge. You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her.
   
   3.OPENING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
   
   
   1. The effect of genuine, other-oriented giving is profound. It allows you into another person's world and opens you up to perceiving his or her goodness. At the same time, it means investing part of yourself in the other, enabling you to love this person as you love yourself.
      
   
   
   

   Tips

   
   
   • go somewhere quiet where you have no distractions
     
   • take some time to really think about it
     
   • think before you do something you may regret later
     
   
   
   

   Warnings

   
   
   • dont follow what others think because it may be the wrong definition.
     
   • be patient: dont just chase after some one because the results may not be good
     
   • dont tell someone you love them if you dont mean it or you're not sure
     
   
   
   

   Related Articles

   
   
   • How to Remain Emotionally Unattached
     
   • How to Seduce Anyone (for Females)
     
   • How to Create an Ever Lasting Impression
     

If you want to make a romantic scrapbook just follow the steps below.

You'll be surprised at the variety available.

Decorate the cover with your names, a picture of the two of you together and some hearts.

On the first page write an introduction. For example, "To Laura", Valentine's Day 2005.

Write a Poem and mount it in a decorative frame in the scrapbook.

Include menus, programs, playbills and mementos from concerts, plays and happy events you enjoyed together.

Use Astrology, Numerology, Tarot, etc. and explain the bonds between you and your partner.

Write and include the lyrics of your favorite song.

Write the story of your first kiss or the first time you said "I love you" to one another.

Finish the project with a flourish. Include a coupon for a romantic dinner, Godiva chocolates, a weekend

Tips

• Head to your nearest hobby store for a scrapbook and everything you need to trim and decorate your special gift.
  
  
• Logs of email, sms or chat conversations could come in handy, especially if you've had romantic chats. For instance, including a chat you had when you were both feeling a bit naughty could go in a "Sensual" chapter in the scrapbook. Or include an angry email for a more complete depiction of your subjects' character.
  
  
• You could even make your scrapbook in soft copy, as in make a .ppt or a .pps file with a notebook template, to give a complete paper-like feel, but on the computer.
  
  

Warnings

• Be prepared for a wonderful reaction!
  
  
• If others are going to be reading this, make sure your "naughty" chats aren't too risque, as to make them uncomfortable, or reveal marital secrets.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Make a Wedding Scrapbook as a Gift
  
• How to Start a Scrapbook
  
• How to Create a Wedding Memory Book
  
• How to Organize Photos to Build a Video Scrapbook
  
• How to Start a Scrapbook
  
• How to Get a Real Good Man
  
• How to Make a Best Friends Scrapbook
  
• How to Create a Scrapbook
  
• How to Explicate a Poem
  
• How to Write Dark Poems
  

Kick-Start Your Love Life!

Tip! Any good relationship requires effort to keep it alive. Your unique way of being romantic is your personal anchor to securing the heart of another.

No matter how many years you have been together as a couple, your relationship deserves the same kind of attention it received at the beginning. Surprisingly, this is often not the case in many relationships. Just as starting a new relationship requires effort, so does maintaining a successful one. Unfortunately, many forget that when their relationship ends and they go to start a new one, they're going to have to put in the effort then. The question is, "Why not now?"

I remember my first marriage. We had been a couple for seventeen years. Unfortunately, our relationship lacked in the romance department. Despite many attempts and pleas on my part, I could pretty much count the number of dates we had on my two hands. Suffice it to say, loneliness and resentment inevitably consumed the relationship and our marriage ended.

I often hear similar stories from clients, colleagues, and friends, saddened that their relationship has little or no zest. However, before we go and point the finger at our partner, we need to first ask ourselves if we've really made a conscious effort to do our part. Have we voiced our concerns to our partner? Have we been clear and specific about what we want? Did we approach our partner lovingly without blame? Or are we basing our disappointment and frustration on assumptions we've made—that our mate should know better since, of course, we already do ... or do we?

Here's another question that stops some people dead in their tracks. When was the last time you asked your partner out on a date? This goes for the ladies too. Dating, you ask? Isn't that something you do before you move in together? As my teenaged daughter would say, "Not!" And if your partner declined your warm invitation, did you happen to ask your partner out again? Many lament, "But I've already tried." I invite you to heed the words of wisdom from Yoda, the green pint-sized creature in Star Wars: "There is no try, there is only do," and do and do.

Tip! As soon as you arrive home for the day seek out your partner and offer a big, loving kiss. Tell your partner how much you love him or her and ask about their day.

Dating is not about putting your partner first, but your relationship. It is an excellent means and opportunity for the two of you to discover each other anew, rekindle the flame, and grow closer together. Someone's got to get the ball rolling, so why not you? And hey, did you know that May is "Date Your Mate Month"? What a perfect lead in to ask your honey out on a date!

Take action now! Kick-start your love life! You and your partner deserve it! Always remember, the reason you're together as a couple is because you dated.

Passionate about human connection, Leona Hamel is a relationship specialist and communications coach. She is the CEO and President of Romance Unlimited and StageCoach Consulting. Her services include one-on-one coaching, group seminars, products, and resources for men and women who want to maximize their relationships to maximize their results, be it in the boardroom, "living" room or bedroom. She is the author of The ABC's of Tease & Please: A Romance Handbook under her pen name LouLou L'Amour, and a contributing author to A First Serving of Milk and Cookies for Success. Visit http://www.romanceunlimited.com for new articles, tips and trivia each month. Plus, don't forget to sign up for her monthly romance newsletter, LouLou's Love Lesson.

How to Enhance Your Love Life

Tip! Every time thoughts about them suddenly come into your mind, do the above, AND re-direct your focus on to something that is positive and life enhancing for YOU, or others that you love. You have the power to consciously re-direct your thoughts and FOCUS.

Enhancing your love life is something that every long term relationship eventually requires. Sooner or later your love life will be affected by the regular stresses of everyday life and many other factors that may make your love life seem lacking.

Often we hear that our partners are too tired to make love or perhaps there is a problem in the relationship that make love making just a bit more difficult than it used to be.

So many aspects of our daily lives are affected and reflected in our personal relationships. This is when learning how to enhance your love life becomes very important.

For starters it helps for you to be able to incorporate playfulness in the bedroom. Being playful in the bedroom is a key factor to you having fun during lovemaking. It also helps you to get closer to your mate.

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Learning how to become more spontaneous when it comes to love making can also help you to improve your love life. The reason for this is because it lets your mate know that you still find them sexy and attractive, which is the key to a great love life. Here are some more tips to making your love life better:

1. Try to add some spice into your relationship by bringing toys to the bedroom with you. It can really make a huge difference.

2. Role playing is a great way for you to be able to make your love life a great deal better. It is also a good way to explore fantasies.

Tip! Having a photo wall of those you love.

3. Explore your fantasies with your mate and be very specific in your requests. Just be sure that both you and your mate are comfortable with your ideas.

4. Be willing to talk openly with your mate about what you want in the bedroom.

5. Having an open mind toward sex is a key component in keeping your love life secure.

6. Having sex in different areas other than the bedroom can spice up any relationship and add a sense of danger to it.

7. Trying new and different positions can really make a difference in your love life.

Tip! Loyalty, always standing up for and speaking well of your lover.

There are just so many things that you can do to make your love life better that it can be difficult to settle on any one in particular. If you are willing to explore new territories it can lead you to a more fulfilling sex life with your partner. Most of what is needed is an open mind because that is when the inhibitions are lower. A good sex life is very important to any relationship and a willingness to do whatever you can to spice things up helps as well.